Can you believe!? I’ve been blogging for just over a month now! And let me start by saying: time is weird. It feels like I’ve been doing this for way longer than a month. But maybe that’s because I’ve been thinking about doing something like this for a really long time. I love to write, I deeply value vulnerability (with boundaries), and I have ruthless creative energy. It has always felt like blogging was a natural and obvious thing for me to do, and yet I never did it!
I feel like two pretty big factors held me back. One was that, while I had the desire to do something like this, I was drowning. My life was rocky – personally and in my marriage. And this left me with very little to give the world. I was truthfully surviving and I simply didn’t have the mental or emotional bandwidth to take on anything more than keeping my head above water.
Second, I was afraid to put myself out there! I cherish people that are willing to be open and honest and I have a lot to add to that space but I was scared that people would judge me! I was worried about what acquaintances from college and high school would think about me if I really went for it. I’m laughing typing that out – it’s the truth – but seeing it in writing shows me how deeply silly it is. I wasn’t worried about what my actual friends would think! No, no. I was worried about the boy I had a huge un-requited crush on at church, and the girl that told me I was too pale at field day in the 6th grade.
But I believe we all cary within us younger versions of ourselves, and the (roughly) 14 year old version of me is very insecure. She’s still a part of me and I love her but I’m 30 now and grown up Lacy gets to call the shots.
So here I am – blogging. Finally. I talked a lot about how this all got started here, but once I got serious about renovating my home, I bought myself two books so I could learn more about design. One book was Joanna Gaines‘ Home Body. She’s a well known name and a successful designer, it was an obvious choice. The other book that I bought was a blind purchase. I had never heard of the author but Amazon told me that it was a best seller, so there ya go. I bought a random book written by a random person… and uhhh, it might have changed my life? It was Erin Gates’s Elements of Style. (Seriously, how many times can I talk about Erin Gates here? I feel like I’m starting to breach the creepy threshold but what’r ya gonna do?) Erin started her thriving career from a wee little blog – If Erin could do it, why can’t I?
Now here I am. One month down. And what have I learned?
Actually, I’m going to share that with you next week. I didn’t want to go into what I’ve learned without giving you the backstory. It’s good stuff, but y’all are going to have to wait until Tuesday!